Hawaii 3-0h

NEW PLACES

are:

exciting

fun

scary 

unknown

amazing

an adventure

crazy 

overwhelming (in both good and bad ways)

expensive

hard

welcoming

different

and I am sure there is much more I could add to the list but I honestly can't think. 

all of theses words are feelings I have felt in the last 6 weeks. I feel like I have been on an emotional roller coaster trying to shift through what is valid and what is just over emotional.

I really think you learn a lot about yourself when you step out into the unknown. You are challenged to overcome obstacles you may have never faced before. 

Stepping out and leaving behind my entire life has proved to be a challenge. And I am not gonna lie I have broken down crying and come to the conclusion that I am packing it in and coming home, but those moments last for a brief second and then I realize that I am where I need to be and it's just gonna be rough sometimes. 

This really came to ahead this week when my best friend called me to let me know that her father had passed away. All I wanted to do was give her a hug and a shoulder to cry on...and I can't. I can't be there I am on what felt like at the moment a "God forsaken island". I was trapped I couldn't drive to her and be there in a couples hours. It would take more money then I had to buy a ticket and it would take more time off then I had to take. Regardless, I was willing to go. I and I would have if she had said she wanted /needed me there. 

Then the next morning I get a calling letting me know that my grandma has been admitted to the hospital and has pneumonia. At this point I am literally saying out loud "you have got to be kidding me" really. 

Well it turns out she is fine and it was a false alarm, but it really drove home the fact that I just can't be there for people like I use to be. 

Let me tell you that is a really hard conclusion to come to for me. I am not sure others handle it but, I am the person you can rely on to be there when there's a problem. Now it's different. I am not saying it is a bad things, it's just hard. 

There are many other things that come with leaving everything behind. It is a very freeing feeling to start over. You get to start a new adventure and start over in some regards. It's almost like jumping on a sailboat for the first time. You don't know if your gonna get seasick or love the open waters. You have no knowledge of knot tying, of sails, rudders, lines, speed (knots), and so much more. It's all unknown unless you have researched it and tried to educate yourself. Even then it is still all very unfamiliar because you have had no hands on experience. It is a challenge!

A couple days ago I went out looking for a place to live, I have a really tight budget so this was a real adventure. I found what seemed to be a fairly good deal. $825 a month for a one bedroom 400sqft apartment. It was nice inside but the building was a little rundown on the outside. So I asked the agent showing it to me if it was a safe neighborhood. She wasn't sure so she made some calls and little to my knowledge and even hers. I was advised that it was really not that safe. 

Then later that day I asked one of my friends who attends our church if it was safe and she let me know that was the area when she was a kid that the street walkers would come home to. 

Well, let's try again because that's not gonna work...

It's an adventure and a sure challenge stepping out but it is worth it!

Where are you stepping out?

Are you truly stepping out or are you just saying so? 

What are you afraid of?

Adventure is calling you go make a new story for your book, live it out aloud and let the world see your beauty!