Could this really be more own personal LOST?

If I were to replay the events of the past few months you most likely wouldn't believe all of it. To call it an adventure would be givng to much grace, to call it a curse may be more accurate but also feels a little to harsh.
It some where in between though I have yet to figure out what to call it. SOme have reffered to it as a no man's land while others have been calling it my own personal.
My response to living in my own personal lost has been,this is worst then lost because I can't shoot anyone with out major consequences.
I know I sound a little crazy but trust me you would feel the same way.
To top it all off I am currently sitting in the airport waiting on standby for a flight home. Why standby you ask...well here is the cherry on top to brin the lost theory to furition.
I missed my flight today, I was on time, bags checked, ticket paid for, and easy to go. I was wondering why my plane was not boarding and then I heard my name called over the entercom system "Kelly Wildman paging Kelly Wildman for final boarding at gate chchch gate chchc" what gate was that? I looked at my ticket and ran to gate 26 got there in less then 2min and the plane was locked down and there were no people around. No one there to help, no one there to talk to no one at all. So, I did what any normal person would do, I screamed, yelled, pounded on the door but no one came. No one around even responded to me. So I tried to find someone to help me. I found someone but it took her 30 min to help me,she had other things she needed to do. I finally got a standby flight so now I'm atthe airport bar waiting for 10:10 to rollaround. Red eye fligh here's to hoping I get on!

Discouragement.

Discouragement is such a powerful tool in the wrong hands. 


I have recently been trying to sift through why we, human beings, can be so easily discouraged. 


I have had several conversations about this over the past couple weeks and they have only lead me to become more or to remain at the same level of discouragement. 
However these conversations have helped to lead me to these conclusions;


1. We can be so easily discouraged due to our own high expectations
2. We can be easily discouraged because it's not happening in our own time
3. We can be easily discouraged because we are very negative when it comes to our own self reflection
4. We are easily discouraged when we compare ourselves to others
5. We will always be discouraged when we set unachievable goals


So what it really comes down to is that we are truly our own problem. We are where the discouragement stems from. 
A friend once said "The way to a successful winter camp is to have low expectations" though this was a statement referring to a junior high trip it really has some validity to life. Don't get me wrong I am not saying to always come in with low expectations but, we do need to be reasonable. 


I  am pretty certain I have not been reasonable over the past couple years and especially the last couple months. I expect a lot form myself. The funny thing is I have recently started to expect less and less form others. In turn place higher expectations on myself. It seems silly really when I write it but it's the truth. 


Today I am starting to lower my expectations on myself. I will still have high hopes but I will not become disappointed in myself when I fall short or fail to obtain something unreasonable. I know what I am capable of and I know what I can obtain. I am going to focus on that and see if everything else falls into place. 


So here is to lowering expectations with out diluting my hopes!


Where are you discouraged?
How are yo getting through it?
Are your expectations of yourself to high?

On an entirely different note I started mentoring two young boys yesterday. Rusty a 5 year old kindergartner and Dayton a 7 year old 2nd grader. They both come from some sort of broken home life. Though I am not sure of the details on either situation I do know that they are both in need of quality time and the funny thing is so am I. 

I am not saying that I have an expectation that 2 little elementary boys are going to fulfill my need for quality time but I do believe they will add something to my life. It's funny how service truly does add more to who you are as a human. 

I was not planning on starting anything like this until the first of the year because I just felt like I need more time to get ready...hahaha

Then some how I found myself on my way over to Maunawili Elementary yesterday afternoon. A friend had asked if I was willing to help out unbeknownst to me that meant for a year. When I found this out I let him know that I wasn't sure if I could make the commitment and he smiled and said ok. We checked in and waited to meet the boys. Of course I thought they where awesome but, I was still on the fence about coming back because I really feel like I need to settle in before I go making commitments like this one. Well, things changed at the end. Both the boys asked my friend "are you going to come everyday"? His response was "no, but I will be here every week at the same time". Then they turned to me and asked if I would be coming as well. I asked them "do wanted me to" and the both smiled and said "yes". So, of course my answer was "yes I will be here every week". They both jumped up, clapped their hands and gave a jubilant shout "Yes". How can I not come back to that. 

So, now starts my journey of loving on two little boys and building a friendship that will last a life time. 

Now that is a High High expectation but, I don't think it is an unreasonable one! 

I hope you are finding meaning in your beautiful life story until the next blog,
Love, Joy and Peace be with you,
Victory